Here is my EPIC entrepreneur routine that is guaranteed to make you successful. Follow this exact routine below, and you, yes YOU smelly Deborah, can be just as successful as me.
I wake at 3:45am and immediately scream into the dark void that is existence for 5 minutes. Next, I have a quick meditation session for 30 minutes where I go to mental war with all of my inner demons. After vanquishing those inner demons, I go on my first 15 mile jog of the day. I return home and by now it is already 4:30am. I must now consume food, but what is worthy to enter the temple that is my body?
OATS, and lots of 'em. One whole 42oz canister of Quaker Oats later, I am ready to dive right on in to my second meal of the day, OATS! After polishing off two more 42oz silos of Quaker Oats, it's time for my favorite part of the morning. Yep, you guessed it, MORE OATS! At this point I typically like to guzzle down about six, 42oz cylinders of my precious Quaker Oats to fuel me up for the next, most important, part of my routine. "Well, what is the most important part of your routine?" I'm glad you asked because executing this part is critical to your sustained success. After my third meal of oats, my body goes through a transformation and I turn into Larry, the Quaker Oats mascot (yes the guy on the Quaker Oats tube is named Larry). At this point it is crucial that you eat roughly 504oz (12 Larry Jars) of Quaker Oats, and shout out, "I WANNA BE A REAL OAT BOY!" As the last syllables of those words roll off your tongue, you should feel your body begin to crumble into what it was always meant to be. You are now the oats and the oats are you.
Then usually, to wrap up the day, I take quick glance at my email to see if I have any recent messages that need immediate attention. Hope this routine helps you find great prosperity.
PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW THE ABOVE ROUTINE
Hi everyone, this is Ben, one of the co-founder's of Vamose. Above is the first excerpt in a blog titled "Ben's Babbles" where I plan on writing about what it's like to be a "9-5er" while working on a side hustle at night, other things related to entrepreneurship, and some other things that I just find funny.
The little "fake blog" above is poking fun at the many, and I mean MANY, videos that you can find on TikTok or Insta, where people walk you through their daily routines. Some of the routines are insightful and offer tangible ideas for things that you can add to your routine to spice it up in a good way, but there are also some routines that are just flat out unrealistic, unsustainable, and plain out unhealthy. There's so many out there, that many people have already made a mockery of them through other videos or blogs that I found entertaining, thus inspiring this little blog post.
I don't advise following the goofy routine I laid out above, nor do I advise anyone to strictly follow the routine of another person. I've always been a fan of picking out certain aspects that I think would improve my routine, and slowly working those new activities into my own schedule. If they work out, great! If they don't work out, no worries! For me, my routine changes so frequently that I try to not get caught up in it or let it have any sort of major affect on my personal performance or mood.
Maybe this blog will be helpful and entertaining, maybe it won't, or maybe it'll just be me babbling on about random shit. Either way, I'm going to do my best to write about relevant things and post new content often. Thanks for reading, and be sure to eat A LOT of oats in order to be successful.
From Utah with love,